Ideas on how to cope emotionally if you’ve been scammed

Fraud prevention service Cifas thinks that cases of fraud in the UK could soar to their highest ever this year, as hundreds of millions of pounds are stolen from unsuspecting individuals. These range from ‘money mules’, whose bank accounts are taken over by fraudsters, to increasingly sophisticated romance scams.

In 2022, more than £1.2 billion had been stolen via fraud and scams, according to a report from UK Finance, which represents the banking and finance industry. However, reassuringly, a further £1.2 billion was prevented from being stolen, thanks to the advanced security systems our banks now have. But these huge numbers come with an emotional cost, too.

We’re all vulnerable to being scammed. “Fraudsters know that we’re busy and at times distracted, and they deliberately create a false sense of urgency so that we react quickly. For example, you might get a text while you’re making dinner, asking you to click here to prevent your wi-fi from being disconnected,” explains Dr Anna Koczwara, Head of Behavioural Science & Applied Psychology at NatWest.

In longer-term scams, fraudsters will look to build trust, using established relationship techniques to create a personal connection by finding things in common with their target, or providing expert advice.

“Research has even shown that if a fraud involves something you’re familiar with – playing the lottery, for example – the risk of being scammed might be higher, because you tend to do familiar activities on autopilot,” says Anna. This means that having knowledge or experience in a certain area doesn’t make you less susceptible.

Anneloes Hak, Behavioural Science and Applied Psychology Manager at NatWest, also points out: “People can be too quick to blame victims of fraud and assume this would never happen to them. We need to keep in mind that the individual has been specifically targeted and professionally manipulated into this position.”

Another common reaction can be to not want to talk to friends or family about the fraud because we feel ashamed. “Embarrassment can lead to isolation, which potentially makes the psychological impact worse,” says Anna. “At a time when we’re feeling low, reaching out to others can help us feel better. And you will probably be surprised at how many other people have experienced a similar situation.”

If someone confides in you, take the time to listen to them and support any action they want to take. “There are lots of ways to take action, including reporting to Action Fraud through the bank [in England, Wales and Northern Ireland], Police Scotland or through the national Take Five campaign,” says Anna.

As a final thought, fraudsters want us to act quickly. But it’s OK to slow things down. It’s OK to say, “No, I’m not comfortable with this.” A legitimate organisation will never penalise you for stopping to check credentials. Playing on our emotions and creating pressure to act are the top tactics in a scammer’s playbook.